...From the Inside Looking Out You Can't Explain It
Three years I've devoted myself to a group of girls, going through ups and downs and everything in between...I still can't even explain it to myself. I just got home from sitting with a group of sisters and we just talked and talked about so many different things. I felt so connected, so comfortable, and so at home. I sat here for a good 10 minutes, searching for a nice "sisterhood" quote to tweet and everything seems to fall short. 140 characters did as well, so I sit here writing this blog post with no rhyme nor reason instead.
I can't express enough how much I love my sisters and our organization. Everyone always says you make your true friends in college and I didn't believe it back then, but after three years, I finally see it. Not in a million years did I ever think that a group of girls could "get" me...that I could feel so passionate and compassionate about a group of people who are so different than myself. Granted, I regrettably cannot say that I know each and every one of them like the back of my hand, but I can say with great honesty that if they needed me I would drop everything and be there in a heartbeat.
Tears come to my eyes just thinking about how much love I receive from these girls and the insurmountable love I didn't think I could give. When I first started out, I had no idea I was getting myself into. I thought that it'd just be a nice way to meet new people and grow socially. I have done those things and have gained so much more. I've gone and done things I never thought I could ever do. I've met some of the most amazing people with the biggest hearts in this world. It breaks my heart to know that my time spent with them will be much more limited in the future. I may not be graduating this semester, but I can see the end of my activeship approaching. Although the late night elections are miserable and the 4am LipSync practices can be dreadful, it's those kinds of things that I'm going to miss the most.
There's so much to be missed, so many memories I won't be able to make with them. Sorority honestly is what keeps me going in school despite the drama it entails or its distractions and limitations on other things I should get done. My sisters are the family I never had, the drive that keeps me going, the warmth of loving arms.
If any of my younger active sisters are reading this, I implore you to go to everything and BE there at every event 110%. Even if you're not invited, invite yourself because you'll regret later for not being there to make those memories. Look within yourself and find the drive to push yourself to new heights in and outside of the organization. Love and respect one another enough to tell each other the truth no matter how hard it can be. Don't let the petty things get between you because none of that matters in the end. What does matter is the fact that you're sisters, and you're bonded with this connection that no one else can say that they have.
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Friday, October 9, 2009
The Waiting Game
Days have passed and the minutes tick along.
The thing that occupies my mind is you.
I wait patiently for you to turn around
and look at me, to see me and talk this through.
My heart feels heavy with tears threatening to fall.
I can't believe that this is happening,
Our world slowly slipping through my arms.
Could it be that this is our final crossing?
I have always said that time will tell,
But I wish that there was more I could do.
It's just a waiting game I'm forced to play
Until you say our love again rings true.
~SssuperB 1o.o9.o9
Monday, August 10, 2009
Time changes who we are
Saturday was my 20th birthday. I'm no longer a teenager, and over the course of the weekend, I just kept linking things to this theme of Change.
I know I've changed a lot since high school, since starting college, since working, even since a mere few months ago. Change is constantly happening, and I'm glad for it because all of the things that have impacted this growth has made me into a better person, into a person I'm comfortable with who's happy with how my life is going.
Saturday night, I got to catch up with my friend from high school, Sarah, who was also my doubles partner in tennis my senior year if you remember. I hadn't seen her since graduation and we didn't keep in thorough touch when we headed off to college. It was an impromptu hangout, and I got to look into who she's become since heading off to the University of Riverside and she got a glance at what I've been doing. We both have changed so much, practically into completely different people. I just found it so...interesting and enlightening. With myself, I've seen the gradual changes so it's never been as noticeable to myself, but with Sarah, it was almost shocking how she's made this complete 180 turn. And so, I started to reflect on how much I have changed.
I, too, have made a complete turn around. I still remember how innocent and naive I used to be, how crazy I acted. I remember my reactions to things that happened to me. I remember my passiveness and how I just let others speak for me without ever voicing what I thought. All that has changed; some more than others. I still do the same things, but not to those extremes. After I've thought about it over the past few days, I've come to terms with several things that have helped me change for the better (since going off to college). I'll try to go chronologically, so there's some sense to my rambling.
1. Sorority
This has probably made the biggest impact on me. It has really helped me to get out of my shell, forced me to get out of my comfort zone and form real relationships with girls that I didn't know before. I've become so comfortable with them that I can cry in front of them without feeling embarrassed. I can pour my heart out and know that they won't judge me. They've helped me strive to take on leadership roles and do things that I'd never do before. Iota Delta has really allowed me to mature, to be more professional, to be more open, to just be...dynamic.
2. My fiance
He's been a big part of my life the moment he stepped foot into it. Josh has showed me a happiness I've only dreamed of. I wasn't the happiest person in high school. I was never optimistic about things, but he's showed me that I can have my happy ending. He makes me feel confident in myself and in the things I do. He never shuts me down and only supports me in my decisions. I've been struggling with what I want to do for a career, and he assures me that no matter what happens, we're going to be happy and I should pursue something that I enjoy doing.
3. Twitter & the Iran Election
I'm sure a lot of people think I'm crazy for saying that Twitter has changed my life, but it truly has. I will be the first to admit that I hated the idea of Twitter before I started using it. Of course, then, I'd only known it for the triviality of it being like mere Facebook statuses. After joining, I soon discovered it was much more. It's allowed me to make connections that I probably wouldn't have been able to otherwise, connections that may one day help me in my career. But the biggest factor has been the result of the Iran Election.
Seeing the tweets from inside Iran, seeing all of the support worldwide made me want to partake in the movement and try to make a difference in the world. After I saw how the Iranians were risking their lives to fight for democracy, for a fair election, and for their human rights, I finally realized how much I was taking my freedoms for granted. I was never a political person before this. I never registered to vote because I didn't have that personal urge, that connection to go out there and cast a vote. Needless to say, I'm now officially registered to vote and my eyes have opened to more of the world's problems. I've attended a candlelight vigil and a rally in support of the Iranians, and I've come back from those events feeling empowered for being a part of something bigger than any one of us.
I know that there are plenty of other things that have also contributed to my growth, but these are the biggest things that come to mind. Just last semester, I took a Myers-Briggs personality test and I was an ISTJ. I took another version last night and in just a few short months, I've turned into an ISFP. We're all constantly changing as our lives move forward. We form meaningful relationships with one another that help us grow. Our thoughts and ideas alter as we encounter new experiences. So to all my friends, I wish you all the most beautiful changes in your life and the greatest happiness they can bring you as they have already begun to do for me.
I know I've changed a lot since high school, since starting college, since working, even since a mere few months ago. Change is constantly happening, and I'm glad for it because all of the things that have impacted this growth has made me into a better person, into a person I'm comfortable with who's happy with how my life is going.
Saturday night, I got to catch up with my friend from high school, Sarah, who was also my doubles partner in tennis my senior year if you remember. I hadn't seen her since graduation and we didn't keep in thorough touch when we headed off to college. It was an impromptu hangout, and I got to look into who she's become since heading off to the University of Riverside and she got a glance at what I've been doing. We both have changed so much, practically into completely different people. I just found it so...interesting and enlightening. With myself, I've seen the gradual changes so it's never been as noticeable to myself, but with Sarah, it was almost shocking how she's made this complete 180 turn. And so, I started to reflect on how much I have changed.
I, too, have made a complete turn around. I still remember how innocent and naive I used to be, how crazy I acted. I remember my reactions to things that happened to me. I remember my passiveness and how I just let others speak for me without ever voicing what I thought. All that has changed; some more than others. I still do the same things, but not to those extremes. After I've thought about it over the past few days, I've come to terms with several things that have helped me change for the better (since going off to college). I'll try to go chronologically, so there's some sense to my rambling.
1. Sorority
This has probably made the biggest impact on me. It has really helped me to get out of my shell, forced me to get out of my comfort zone and form real relationships with girls that I didn't know before. I've become so comfortable with them that I can cry in front of them without feeling embarrassed. I can pour my heart out and know that they won't judge me. They've helped me strive to take on leadership roles and do things that I'd never do before. Iota Delta has really allowed me to mature, to be more professional, to be more open, to just be...dynamic.
2. My fiance
He's been a big part of my life the moment he stepped foot into it. Josh has showed me a happiness I've only dreamed of. I wasn't the happiest person in high school. I was never optimistic about things, but he's showed me that I can have my happy ending. He makes me feel confident in myself and in the things I do. He never shuts me down and only supports me in my decisions. I've been struggling with what I want to do for a career, and he assures me that no matter what happens, we're going to be happy and I should pursue something that I enjoy doing.
3. Twitter & the Iran Election
I'm sure a lot of people think I'm crazy for saying that Twitter has changed my life, but it truly has. I will be the first to admit that I hated the idea of Twitter before I started using it. Of course, then, I'd only known it for the triviality of it being like mere Facebook statuses. After joining, I soon discovered it was much more. It's allowed me to make connections that I probably wouldn't have been able to otherwise, connections that may one day help me in my career. But the biggest factor has been the result of the Iran Election.
Seeing the tweets from inside Iran, seeing all of the support worldwide made me want to partake in the movement and try to make a difference in the world. After I saw how the Iranians were risking their lives to fight for democracy, for a fair election, and for their human rights, I finally realized how much I was taking my freedoms for granted. I was never a political person before this. I never registered to vote because I didn't have that personal urge, that connection to go out there and cast a vote. Needless to say, I'm now officially registered to vote and my eyes have opened to more of the world's problems. I've attended a candlelight vigil and a rally in support of the Iranians, and I've come back from those events feeling empowered for being a part of something bigger than any one of us.
I know that there are plenty of other things that have also contributed to my growth, but these are the biggest things that come to mind. Just last semester, I took a Myers-Briggs personality test and I was an ISTJ. I took another version last night and in just a few short months, I've turned into an ISFP. We're all constantly changing as our lives move forward. We form meaningful relationships with one another that help us grow. Our thoughts and ideas alter as we encounter new experiences. So to all my friends, I wish you all the most beautiful changes in your life and the greatest happiness they can bring you as they have already begun to do for me.
Monday, June 29, 2009
A Moment Like This
I'm currently on my lunch break at work, and I figured I'd write this post now because I'll keep putting it off and the memories will slowly fade away. I wanted to write about my wonderful experience at the UCLA Candlelight Vigil on Saturday, June 27th in memory of those that have died since the start of the protests in Iran.
It was very unfortunate that no one I knew could come with me to the vigil, and I really wish that more people, especially those that are non-Iranian like myself, would come and support our brothers and sisters who are fighting for their freedom in Iran. My experience at the vigil was one that I will never forget. It was a very touching event and being there with so many others made me really feel like I was supporting something that was a great deal larger than I could ever imagine.
Being on Twitter and supporting them through these hard times has changed my life and the way I think forever (I'll elaborate more on that in a later post). But being at the vigil and seeing the people first hand, immersed in their music, shaking their hands, and holding my hand or candle up in a symbol of piece; that was another experience entirely. I will forever be grateful for that experience.
The people were very welcoming and very supportive. I arrived at UCLA's Bruin Plaza a little early, and I stood by myself tweeting on my cell phone, green scrunchie/bracelet on my right wrist as it has been for a good week. Within minutes, a woman comes up to me and thanks me for coming to the vigil. There's no possible way to describe how I felt in that moment. I, myself, was just grateful that I could be there, that they would allow me to be there and share this experience with them. As I said before, it just made me feel as if I was a part of a greater cause.
I soon learned that the woman's name was Sima. She was so nice and welcoming, introducing me to everyone that she greeted. All around me, I saw the Persians greet each other; a beautiful sounding Shalom and two kisses to their cheeks. That's a tradition that I sometimes wish was more widely done or accepted. It just made everything feel so much more personal, in my opinion. Everyone that Sima introduced me to would also thank me for being there and supporting.
I have to say I was one of the handful of people who weren't Persian at the vigil. One of the gentlemen that sat down and talked to Sima and I made the same observation, saying that I was the only one there to support them that wasn't Persian. However, I never felt alienated whatsoever while I was there. I must express my regret for the lack of outside support, though. I wish others would get more involved and show their support for what the Iranians are fighting for. We have so many liberties here that we take for granted, and they're over there risking their lives fighting for them. My only wish is that more people around me could see that.
Moving on to the actual program itself, again, it was truly beautiful. The music that was performed was a pleasure to listen to, despite the fact that I didn't understand it. I've fallen in love with the Persian song Yar e Dabestani e Man, a song that I've learned originated from the first revolution. It's a beautiful song, and I cannot stop listening to it when I can. There were poems read at the vigil. All of them were very powerful. Those that I understood really touched me; so beautiful and moving.
I shall end this post here. All in all, it was an experience that I will never forget. I only wanted to show my support for everyone who's struggling in Iran and for those who may have family there.
To those who are in Iran: Never lose hope! The world is watching, the world is listening, the world is right behind you in support. We all stand in solidarity; a sea of green.
For more pictures, feel free to visit my Flikr.
And for the videos that I captured at the vigil, visit this YouTube playlist.
Thank you for your time. Until next time!
It was very unfortunate that no one I knew could come with me to the vigil, and I really wish that more people, especially those that are non-Iranian like myself, would come and support our brothers and sisters who are fighting for their freedom in Iran. My experience at the vigil was one that I will never forget. It was a very touching event and being there with so many others made me really feel like I was supporting something that was a great deal larger than I could ever imagine.
Being on Twitter and supporting them through these hard times has changed my life and the way I think forever (I'll elaborate more on that in a later post). But being at the vigil and seeing the people first hand, immersed in their music, shaking their hands, and holding my hand or candle up in a symbol of piece; that was another experience entirely. I will forever be grateful for that experience.
The people were very welcoming and very supportive. I arrived at UCLA's Bruin Plaza a little early, and I stood by myself tweeting on my cell phone, green scrunchie/bracelet on my right wrist as it has been for a good week. Within minutes, a woman comes up to me and thanks me for coming to the vigil. There's no possible way to describe how I felt in that moment. I, myself, was just grateful that I could be there, that they would allow me to be there and share this experience with them. As I said before, it just made me feel as if I was a part of a greater cause.
I soon learned that the woman's name was Sima. She was so nice and welcoming, introducing me to everyone that she greeted. All around me, I saw the Persians greet each other; a beautiful sounding Shalom and two kisses to their cheeks. That's a tradition that I sometimes wish was more widely done or accepted. It just made everything feel so much more personal, in my opinion. Everyone that Sima introduced me to would also thank me for being there and supporting.
I have to say I was one of the handful of people who weren't Persian at the vigil. One of the gentlemen that sat down and talked to Sima and I made the same observation, saying that I was the only one there to support them that wasn't Persian. However, I never felt alienated whatsoever while I was there. I must express my regret for the lack of outside support, though. I wish others would get more involved and show their support for what the Iranians are fighting for. We have so many liberties here that we take for granted, and they're over there risking their lives fighting for them. My only wish is that more people around me could see that.
Moving on to the actual program itself, again, it was truly beautiful. The music that was performed was a pleasure to listen to, despite the fact that I didn't understand it. I've fallen in love with the Persian song Yar e Dabestani e Man, a song that I've learned originated from the first revolution. It's a beautiful song, and I cannot stop listening to it when I can. There were poems read at the vigil. All of them were very powerful. Those that I understood really touched me; so beautiful and moving.
I shall end this post here. All in all, it was an experience that I will never forget. I only wanted to show my support for everyone who's struggling in Iran and for those who may have family there.
To those who are in Iran: Never lose hope! The world is watching, the world is listening, the world is right behind you in support. We all stand in solidarity; a sea of green.
For more pictures, feel free to visit my Flikr.
And for the videos that I captured at the vigil, visit this YouTube playlist.
Thank you for your time. Until next time!
Sunday, June 28, 2009
A New Beginning
I decided to delete all of my blog posts from when I had to use this for a class, and now I'm beginning anew. Here you will find all of my musings about my life and about the world. I already have two blog posts in mind. Not too sure what else I'll put here or if I'll even post anything else here. Maybe I'll post some of my graphic artwork and other things here.
Either way, I hope you find enjoyment in my rants, epiphanies, and the like.
Either way, I hope you find enjoyment in my rants, epiphanies, and the like.
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